Bad habits can really drive your destiny in directions you don’t want it to go. Many people have gone to their graves with unfulfilled potentials only because of their bad habits. Prof. VGT tells us how to navigate this challenge to the end of bettering our lives.
Roses are blue, violets are red, but bad habits are – like comfortable beds. They are very easy to get into, but very hard to get out of. So, watch your thoughts, for they usually become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it will become your destiny. Not some pre-ordained destiny, but your self-made one.
The problem is that habits are almost automatic. So instead of choosing our best option, we tend to keep doing what we are used to. And instead of stopping the habits whenever we want, we are more likely to keep repeating the pattern because of the controlling power of bad habit. But rest assured, today you’re going to learn three simple steps that are going to help you control any habits, as opposed to them controlling us. And these simple steps are called: causation, formation and transformation.
Causation
The meaning of causation is identifying what caused something to happen. What I mean by causation is identifying the root cause of a habit. There is usually no smoke without a fire. Causation is identifying patterns that trigger the habit. For instance, in whose company does the habit usually occur, what kind of thoughts triggers the habit, and how often does the habit occur daily. This will empower us to kick the habit.
Habits are thieves, they can steal your time, your joy, or your self-confidence, among other things.
– Prof. VGT
We can’t change what we can’t acknowledge. Let’s face it, we all have bad habits. So, to motivate ourselves to stop, ask yourself what your habits are stealing from you. Because habits are thieves, they can steal your time, your joy, or your self-confidence, among other things. For instance, a habit of negative self-talk can steal confidence, a habit of unhealthy eating can steal a positive self image, and a habit of laziness can steal future success.
In the same way, you didn’t form your habits in a day, so don’t expect to stop them in a day either. It’s going to take some time, some effort, and consistency. But you know you are worth it. So, acknowledge that you have a habit, and start working on it today. Invariably, kicking a habit is not easy, but keeping the habit will cost you more. It will cost you your joy, your wellbeing, and your freedom.
Transformation
Transformation is about becoming the improved version of yourself. But to transform yourself, you must first change. But any change in life, without first changing the underlining bad habits, is just temporary. For instance, someone who has a low self esteem, and had a plastic surgery to feel better about themselves, will only feel better for a short while, until they find something else that they want to change. This is because they are trying to fix an internal problem, like low self esteem, with external measures. Without first changing the habitual pattern that led to a problem, the getting rid of the low self-esteem will just be temporary.
It easy to see that if you want something to change in your life, changing the underlying habit starts with you. We can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. 1+1 will always be 2. So, if we keep doing the same thing, we will always get the same result. But the good news is that research shows it only takes 21 days to form a new habit. So, start today.
It is not life events that make you respond to life the way you do, but your triggers and conditioning.
– Prof. VGT
On the other hand, our habits are usually triggered by what are called triggers. In fact, it is not life events that make you respond to life the way you do, but your triggers and conditioning. For example, school children can be conditioned to being hungry by the school bell, shocking, isn’t it? The truth is, anytime they hear the school bell for lunch, whether they were hungry or not, they become hungry instantly. But when they can avoid the exposure to the bell, which is the trigger, let’s say on school holidays, they would avoid the emotional hunger that the bell creates, after about 21 days of forming the new habit.
In the same way, identifying, avoiding, and replacing any psychological triggers will empower us to kick the habit. This is known as positive feedback. Having said that, negative feedback can help you kick your habits, if it is your cup of tea. Negative feedback involves putting a rubber band on your wrist, so anytime you become tempted to do the habit, you snap the rubber band on your wrist. Ouch, I know which one I prefer! But seriously, negative feedback trains the mind to avoid a habit, to avoid the pain. But both negative and positive feedback works. And the choice is yours.
Formation
What I mean by formation is forming good new habits to replace the bad ones, to change your life. Find something else to focus on to distract you from your habit. The devil uses idle hands, it is said. And our focus usually becomes our desire. Find something positive that will overshadow your habit, to desire. For example, someone who has a negative thinking habit, and decides to starve their negative thinking to death, with positive self talk. This will starve their habit to death, and they will end up developing a new positive mindset.
In the same way, identifying, avoiding, and replacing any psychological triggers will empower us to kick the habit. This is known as positive feedback. Having said that, negative feedback can help you kick your habits, if it is your cup of tea. Negative feedback involves putting a rubber band on your wrist, so anytime you become tempted to do the habit, you snap the rubber band on your wrist. Ouch, I know which one I prefer! But seriously, negative feedback trains the mind to avoid a habit, to avoid the pain. But both negative and positive feedback works. And the choice is yours.
Moreover, find a new hobby that helps you to maximize your strengths or one that helps you develop new strengths. For instance, learning to play music, to write or to paint can be a good diversion from any bad habit. These hobbies are also therapeutic. Besides that, beware of what I call the comfort zone syndrome. Because every time you step out of familiar ground – that is your comfort zone – you will develop some anxieties due to fear of the unknown. All you need to then do is keep talking yourself out of the anxiety. Keep reminding yourself what have to gain when you lose the habit. If you are consistent for about 21 days, you will lose the anxiety, and gain more confidence about your ability to stay away from your unwanted habits. And that is how, little by little, 21 days at a time, you change your life. Now, get to it!
